8th March – a day celebrating women and all things associated with her and in the past few years has gained a lot of hype and commercial importance. A lot of ads / video’s, promos showing the power of being a woman… the importance of being a woman; stores having offers and discounts, gift shops tempting with the what will make a woman beautiful.. what they deserve… but on 9th March? Back to square one. So, this year let’s make a vow to celebrate ‘Women’ every day and not just one day. Let’s celebrate the positive and vibrant energy that women have – Femininity.
Feminine features in nature includes – Nurturing, Creative, Intuitive, Empathetic, Loving, Emotional, Collaborative, Free flowing, Receiving and so on. Society perceives the feminine qualities as to – Nurture, Give, Bear/ Endure, Surrender, Sacrifice, Being quiet, Sensitive, Tender, Multitasking and many more. Through this perception of the society; comes, the expectations it has of women and the roles a woman is expected, prophesied and preached, to play. We all have our parents, families, spouses, in-laws, kids, neighbors, relatives, and society as a whole directly or indirectly having us think and act a certain way. Growing and staying in such a society, women themselves have many such expectations. Having expectations from self and others is not bad in itself but soon such expectations turn to pressure and that is an issue. However, the current expectations and roles a woman needs to play a ‘Super Woman’ can be a source of pressure. Thus, leading many women to find themselves in overwhelming situations; totally stressed and exhausted. A person in such a space is toxic for not only for herself but also for people around.
The Super Woman Syndrome is making woman take up more than they can handle – may be they are forced to or by choice. The need to excel and go beyond in every role can become exhausting in the long run. So, what can be done to ensure that we are able to manage the feminine energy in a much better way? A compact 3 part process can help 1] Maintain Self 2] Manage External World, and 3]Recharge Self.
1] Maintain Self majorly involves managing our emotions. Be mindful, Use emotional RULER, introspect and strategies. Emotional RULER comes in handy to deal with the overwhelming emotions. Mindfulness helps to identify emotional states and with practice we are in a position to identify it before it escalates to do some damage. Self regulation and modification helps us choose our response rather than merely react like a puppet. Introspection of the causes of our overwhelming response to situations, like loosing our top, shouting, fighting, crying etc puts things in perspective. Thus with a clear picture about the cause of a certain behavior, we don’t tend to beat ourselves unnecessarily (Why did I do this? Am I a bad person?). Strategizing for future situations in terms of what and how to avoid a difficult situation or a person, what response to choose, what options may be there; planning for how to stay in control (with positive and encouraging self talk) in an unavoidable tough situation actually translates into managing ourselves better in those situations.
2] Manage External world would involve anticipating and preparing to put the resources to apt use. Prioritise, Delegate, Avoid Over-commitment and seek your support system. Review it regularly; as an illness at home or a deadline at work would change that. Delegate and outsource some tasks to save yourself from exhaustion. Learn to tactfully say no to avoid Over-commitment and never underestimate your support system. Help your other female friends, relatives and neighbors Your friends, family, trusted neighbors can all come to your aid some or the other time, somehow.
3] Recharge Self with Self Car; which is like living beyond just managing and surviving in tough situations. Enriching and cherishing ourselves [not just externally], but our core, our inner child, our inner beauty, our inner power is a duty we must fulfill for ourselves and for our loved ones. But nonjudgmental acceptance of our flaws helps us overcome them or minimize the damage it may cause us. Seek positive emotional balance sheet by interacting more and regularly with positive and encouraging people around you; share your dreams plans and joys with them. Be assured that doing things for ourselves doesn’t make us selfish (if we balance it out); indulge yourself, regularly do things that relax you and fill you with joy. That’s like a good overall spa for our core. Last but not the least self growth and development has to have a place on our priority list. Learning a new skill or fine tuning an old one, increasing our knowledge or improving our mental strength, we need to have an unapologetic intra enrichment plan for ourselves.
Do remember to complement yourself genuinely every day. Your value is much more than you (and sometimes people who take you for granted), think. Appreciate your inner beauty and cherish it. Stay connected to your core that’s what your real power is. .. BE!!
Happy Women [Every] Day!